Monday, June 27, 2011

Surreal

Sorry for the lack of posts, my mind has been occupied with other matters. This past weekend my family experienced a tragedy, a lose of a loved one and it made my whole weekend a bit chaotic. While it is not directly related to me, I felt shocked and the only way I was left to deal with it was to keep myself occupied. At one point I found myself sitting in Barnes and Nobel writing out my thoughts just so I can get them out of my system. I guess I have a hard time comprehending death. I asked C.B. several times how he would have dealt with it. I mean how do you guys deal with news that is shocking? Does it leave you numb and speechless the way it did me?

If I've learned anything from this experience, it's to make sure that you let people know that you care and love them. I have plenty of regrets in regard to this situation and I know that I just need to let them go. I can't change the things that happened or my actions.

If you guys believe in prayer, good vibes, whatever, they would be greatly appreciated. Please send them to my family. Much love!

6 Grass Lovers:

Wesley Thomas said...

Last night me and my roommates were driving across an intersection when a truck comes speeding across the intersection through a red light almost hitting 3 cars including our own. we were all so lucky to survive. we ended up pulling over to the side of the road and just sat in silence catching our breath, then told each other how much we meant to each other. weather he was drunk or just stupid, it definitely puts things into perspective. i cannot yet comprehend death and fear it greatly. I'ts a good thing we rarely know its coming. no point dwelling on it....its like stressing over an exam that's never going to come...because when it does come, we wont even know.

sugarbunny119 said...

I am so sorry about your cousin. As you know, I've never experienced anything like that, especially the very tragic circumstances surrounding it. It sounds like you are kind of reserved about sharing things that bother you, but I hope you find some way to cope with her death.
As for the rest of your post, being honest isn't just giving a critical opinion, it also means telling someone that you love them and how much they mean to you, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I hope you and your family can find peace.

Myrna said...

Sorry to hear this, Layla. Please know you are loved, and by extension the rest of your family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Nancy said...

I'm also sorry to hear this; when death comes suddenly it's so hard to deal with. It's hard enough to deal with when you expect it. I love you, Layla!

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

Oh honey. you are amazing. Thanks for your text yesterday. Your compassion is a strength, but in times like this it can make it harder.

xoxoxo

Tysha said...

I have a hard time with death. 3 of my Grandparents died last year, within 6 months of each other. And I have had 3 friends/acquaintences die this year - my age, with kids. I used to feel like I had a lot more faith when I thought of death, but when it hit closer to home, I found that I also had a lot of fear and unsettled feelings. It scares me to death thinking that Jacob and I could die and leave our children without a mother or father...but like someone else said, dwelling on it certainly doesn't help. But it is important to process - and move up and down through the steps of the process of grieving. It takes time. And that's okay.

If you ever want to sip tea and talk - let's! I really need to come visit you anyway - I've been a slacker at visiting teaching the past 2 months!

I hope you are hanging in there - prayers and positive vibes to you and yours from me and mine.

Love you Layla!