Thursday, April 19, 2012

Proud List

A couple years back, I read Nie Nie's proud list and I have been thinking about my own proud list ever since. My proud list is important to me, because I do have moments in my life that I am not proud of. Whenever I am frustrated or down, I think of my list and it reminds me of how far I have come. I know that being proud gets a bad reputation, but sometimes moments of pride are needed and it is healthy.


* I am proud to be a Mormon. More specifically I am at peace with my religion because I have been able to question things that I don't understand. For awhile I struggled with my faith, but I have come to the conclusion that Mormonism is not just black and white, you can have thoughts and ideas and grow in the gospel.
* I am proud to be a Seminary teacher. This calling has pushed me to levels that I didn't think I could ever reach. It has kicked my trash numerous times and I have survived.
* I am proud that I graduated with a BA from Brigham Young University. Receiving my diploma was one of the greatest moments of my life.
* I am proud that I waited  to have children. In the last eight years I have learned so much about myself, my spouse, and the type of life I want to provide for my future family. (no this is not an announcement)
* I am proud that we are consumer debt free. We both worked hard to not have any student loans, not to depend on credit cards and manage our finances carefully. Everything that we own, we were able to obtain and buy for ourselves. I am by no means saying that if you have had to go the opposite route than us than you are below us. You have to do what is right for you. For me and my husband, we were both terrified of being in debt. The largest debt that we have acquired  is our mortgage and it has kicked us in the trash. In the last three years we have been aggressively paying it off.
* I am proud that I have traveled the world alone. Both times that I went abroad alone, I was able to reflect and think about my life and where it is headed.
* I am proud of the man that I married. He blows me away. I don't know how I got so lucky. He has been nothing but kind, gracious, strong and hard working in all manners of his life.
* I am proud that I stepped in to the unknown and allowed myself to meet with a therapist, nutritionist, and a doctor to help me heal from my body image and emotional issues.
* I am proud that in the last six months I have not binged, purged, or taken laxatives as a form of dieting. It was a path that I have known for the majority of my life.
* I am proud that I don't know my weight and that I handed over my scale.
* I am proud that I can run really long distance and endure. The body that I have despised for so many years is able to do things that I didn't know it could do. It is strong and healthy and I am grateful for it.
* I am proud that I can now look at myself naked in the mirror.
* I am proud that I am a straight Mormon ally. I want to try my best to understand and to make sure that everyone is felt loved and cared for, regardless of their sexual orientation.
* I am proud that I voted for Barack Obama and I plan on voting for him again.
* I am proud of my rich Middle Eastern heritage and that I was able to experience life in the Middle East.
* I am proud that I have a job that I like and that I can feel productive and help contribute to our finances.  I love the fact that I have made all the payments for the car that I drive.
* I am proud that I have a better relationship with my father and my sister.
* I am proud that I kept my maiden name when I got married and added a new name to the mix. Having four names is bad A.
* I am proud that I have made an effort to better my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am grateful for prayer and meditation. I am grateful for the knowledge of his unconditional love. When all else seems to fail, that one piece of knowledge keeps me going.

7 Grass Lovers:

Taylor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lucy van Pelt said...

You are SO amazing! I'm especially proud of you for being able to make and publish this list.

Erica {let why lead} said...

I think every one of these is completely amazing. (Naked in the mirror was one of my favorites!) I also agree wholeheartedly that there is plenty of room in the gospel for lines of questioning. What an awesome seminary teacher you must make because of that!

Lauren said...

I'm proud of you too!! Hugs!

Emma said...

This is amazing, Layla! I miss you so much! I want to make one of these on my blog!

RORYJEAN said...

Awesome. I love this list.

Zontziry Johnson said...

Wow! You've come such a long way on the body/self-image issues. I'm impressed and inspired!