Wednesday, April 23, 2014

It's a good life

Oh how have I missed this blog. A year break is a long long break. Well it has been more like a 2 year break.

In these past two years life has changed and changed and changed and I could have never imagined the direction it has gone.

I've learned to run really long distances. I've also injured myself and I'm now on a break from running. I miss it so much that sometimes I get depressed thinking about how I have to wait. Physical therapy has been hard but I have seen so much improvement.

I've traveled a lot. I am grateful for those experiences.  I love meeting new people, experiencing new places and falling in love with new cultures. I travel quite a bit for work and I'm always eager to go back and experience those places with CB. I love traveling with him, especially to new places. Sharing those experiences and being able to think back to them is such an intimate thing for me. When I was younger, I traveled alot with my family. When we have kids, I want those experiences for my children.  Just because you have kids, does not mean that travel is out of the question.

I am no longer a member of a congregation of the ward that I have been in for the last five years. The boundaries changed, and I am in a completely new stake. The Greenwood Ward was an incredible ward that I felt very much at home with. It allowed me to serve, make new friends, and question my faith. I have been kinda lost with out it but our new ward is pretty great too. The Woodland Park Ward is very similar and very different. It will just take time for me to feel just as comfortable as I have been in the Greenwood Ward.

I have been at a constant battle with my faith. There are times I wonder why I even bother. There are things that I don't understand and I have wrestled with over and over. I feel like in the last two years, there has been a significant shift in my faith. I am not as orthodox as I used to be. I used to feel guilty about everything and I don't feel that way anymore. I would also say that I do not think I am a literal believer anymore. I feel more at ease in the shades of grey and I think that is why I keep going. This talk helped me decide to stay.

I've lost many loved ones that were dear to my heart and I miss them daily. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them. Death can be earth shattering. There have been days that I think that I  would have never thought that they would be gone so soon.

We bought a house. A house that we can stay in for a very very long time. It is in my favorite neighborhood of all of Seattle. I feel blessed. It has been the best journey learning how to make it more of our home. I have become a pro at painting, decorating, and shopping for used furniture. I never thought that we would ever be able to buy another house, not for at least another 10 years. Bless Amazon stock.

My baby brother got married! I am beyond excited to have a new sister in the family. So weird that he is married with a grown up job and grown up responsibilities.

In less than one month I will be turning 30. I am nervous and excited. 30 is serious. 30s is  very grown up. 30s means that you better have your crap together.  My 20s have been so hard and so good to me. I'm spending my last week of my 20s in NYC with one of my best friends. It will be a great way to bid farewell and to turn a page to becoming more serious and getting my crap together :)

I'll probably come back in another two years and keep you posted on how things are going. For now, you can follow me on instagram. You can blame it for killing my blog.

4 Grass Lovers:

Unknown said...

I love it! It's amazing how much life happens in between things like blogging and social media posts! Love and miss you!

ixoj said...

Hurrah for a long-overdue post!

I'm happy that you stay with our faith (I share lots of your concerns, as you know). But I'm happy you stay because the more of us that have concerns, share them, and stay, the more likely things are to change. Eventually.

I love your house.

If 30 is very grown up, I'm in serious trouble. :)

jjudkins said...

I love you Layla. You help me see a bigger world. And, you can be an inspiration to many people in your own family.

Myrna said...

Layla, I am so happy to read your sweet words again! Glad to see you back on the blog.